On cryptids

Let us discuss the docudrama today (my life has been rather "meh" so here's what you get). First, gushing. I love docudramas. I wish I lived in a docudrama. I've waited in agonizing anticipation for a good docudrama to come out since Mermaids: The Body Found and Trollhunter (which were really mockudramas, but semantics), both which were fantastic albeit not believable. I guess I could broaden my interests a bit and say that I like documentaries in general. My little brother, who often monitors my Netflix list, often says that the excess of documentaries in my show selection may reflect a boring nature that knows no bounds. However, note that Pinky also contributes to this Netflix documentary list, watching things like Ken Burns' civil war and history stuff, which really is boring (I tend towards more exciting nature shows, appreciation of sexy Attenborough voice insert here).

Moving on though, I still don't love documentaries as much as I love the docudrama. The former lacks that certain suspenseful anticipation or je ne sais quoi that comes along with suspension of belief. It's the anticipation hook that keeps me coming back to a television show, and so far this season, I've been following three rather diligently, which is not the norm for me, I'll have you know. I usually follow zero; my modus operandi is to watch the first two to three episodes of a show and then forget about/become bored with it after said two to three episodes. In fact, what usually happens is Pinky drags me through TV series, such as. Luther, Game of Thrones, Single-Handed (a.k.a. the most depressing TV show in the entire world), House of Cards, etc. It's his diligence that allows me to have any idea of what is going on in these shows during dinner conversations.   Either way, I've been following Hannibal, Vikings, and Cryptid: The Swamp Beast. Perhaps while there is a morbid trend amongst these, there is also one of suspenseful anticipation. All three of these shows keep my eyes glued to the television and even get my heart racing at some points.

Now that you all have background, let's zone in on Cryptid. A cryptid refers to any creature of mythology that people think exist and yet have no supporting evidence of such an existence, e.g. Sasquatch, Loch Ness Monster. So following, Cryptid: The Swamp Beast is a docudrama on the History Channel about the rougarou (oh Americans, mispronuncing the french loup garou) or honey island swamp monster living in the humid and danger-zoned Louisiana swamps. In true documentary style, it follows a local animal control business and the local police department on their calls, and blends real-life interviews and factual evidence (past news reports, etc.) into the plot-line. Lo and behold, eventually the police department and the local animal control business converge on an investigation of the existence of the honey island swamp beast.

What's so great about this show is it really teeters back and forth on the border of being fictional and non-fictional. Up until the third episode, I thought that it was real. Call me gullible, but even a search on the internet didn't raise any red flags, and in fact, the animal control business even has its own website online (a fake one, but it's there). This show is so good that even after finding out that the main plot of the show was scripted and that the animal control folks were actually actors/actresses, the wave of disappointment  that came over me was minor and fleeting. Cryptid is just so well-done that I don't even care that I was temporarily fooled, I'm even impressed that I was fooled. It's a fun watch. So watch it, Monday nights at 10 PM on the History Channel.

Onto the food though. There's no solid link here, mea culpa, other than the fact that I love this bread about the same amount as I love docudramas. I've made challah before, and although my first few loaves of challah bread were delicious, I did have some notes for improvement.  I wanted some challah that was a little less dense, that kept its chewy moistness for more than a couple of days. Something that I didn't have to slice into everyday to make a sandwich. I wanted challah that was a little less crusty and less dark. I wanted something with softer texture. Something that would be addictive and difficult to stop eating. Also, I can always use Pinky as a gauge for whether or not something turned out super well or just okay. Considering the fact that the first few loaves of challah sat around for more than week, I knew I had to do something different this time.

I did some reading on texture, and made some adjustments accordingly.  These bread rolls are so good that I'm sticking with this challah bread method, well, forever (might add in a 3rd rising to help develop flavor).

Challah Rolls
6-8 rolls

2.5 teaspoons active dry yeast
2 teaspoons granulated sugar
1 C warm water
2 large egg yolks, room temperature

1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 C granulated sugar
1/4 C vegetable oil
bread flour
milk (for brushing)
melted margarine (for brushing)

Activate your yeast by mixing it with the 2 teaspoons sugar and 1 C warm water (on the cool side), then placing it in a warm moist place until frothy. I microwave a small bowl of water for 3 minutes until the microwave is steamy, and then place my yeast mixture in there. Active yeast is important; I could hear my yeast bubbling away before I used it.

Mix your yeast mixture with the vegetable oil, sugar, egg yolks and salt, mixing with a fork until fairly even. Cup by cup, sprinkle in your bread flour until the dough is still a little tacky and sticky, still soft, but pretty much together. Here, you will really have to use your own judgement, but don't add too much flour; I think that's the reason my first challah loaves turned out so dense. Rather than just putting in flour, this time, I first put in 2 C of flour to get a very sticky dough. I then turned out this sticky dough onto a kneading board and sprinkled onto this, in intervals, another cup of bread flour while constantly kneading. Eventually, the dough lost its stickiness and became smooth and pliable. Overall, for this recipe, I used around 3 C of flour, but I'm sure this will vary for you depending on temperature and humidity. Either way, knead until the dough passes the window pane test (making sure your gluten is developed), is still a little tacky and barely deforms when sitting as a ball on the board. Place this in a plastic-covered and oil-coated bowl, and let it rise in a warm and moist place, until more than doubled in size (a little more than an hour).

After the dough has more than doubled in size, punch it down and turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough into 12 or 16 equal parts. Roll each part into long rolls of relatively equal length. To form the rolls, twist together two of the rolls and pinch together at the ends. Then  roll this coil up together like a snail and tuck the ends together in at the bottom. So, if you have 12 little rolls, you should form 6 coils, which then roll up into 6 rolls. In an oiled 9x13 inch dish, place the rolls about 1 inch apart. Cover and let rise  in a warm moist place until more than doubled in size.

Once the rolls have increased in size and are nearly touching each other, brush with milk. Bake at 350 degrees until brown on top. Remove from oven and brush with melted margarine while still hot, to get that shine. Eat with salami, cheese, mustard and olives mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.