Every single day

I used to have this English teacher called Mr. Steele (though for some apparent reason, I called him Mr. Steo for the longest time), who told me that to "be a good writer, one must write every single day. Even if it's shit writing," he'd say, "it's worth it to go through the motions." I'm sure there's a certain amount of truth behind his words, but I'm still mired in doubt that senselessly writing does anything to improve writing skills.  I wonder if perhaps his meaning wasn't necessarily that writing everyday produces better writing, but rather, helps one to clarify one's thoughts, bring forth one's voice and the like.

Eh, I'm still not convinced. In my experience, the clarity or intensity of my writing varies very much depending on how I feel in the moment, what's happened during the day, whether my brain is tired or not. In fact, it's kind of ridiculous how much mood can affect my writing these days. It used to be a boon to be an emotional roller coaster (at this point, I'll note, that when I was younger, my writing was most interesting and clear in moments of overwhelming stress or depression). Such is not the case anymore. These days, perhaps from the aging and all, stress either makes my mind go blank or makes me vomit out angst, neither of which are good things. It's funny what age does to people. Perhaps it's only because as we age, we begin to realize that being clear and unique doesn't necessarily mean a solution will appear, so you're better off just not over thinking things.

My mood right now is pretty calm, which is unusual considering the train of this past week's events. It's all been such a mess lately. I don't know how much I've said about my neighbors/neighborhood in this blog, but the general consensus is that their presence is not a positive thing. Let's just say things have also been progressively getting worse. Apparently, the 10-year old kid is on antidepressants, thieving from all his relatives, and stealing cans of gasoline and bringing them into his home (I hope the pyromaniac thing doesn't become an addiction). Our house is also now boarded up a bit tightly, for fear he might break in and hurt the Squeeze, who also seems to despise him. Just this very morning, we saw the kid stealing a girl's bike out of another neighbor's backyard. Squeeze was the one who drew our attention to the theft, with all his barking. Squeeze is a pretty good judge of character, I'd say.

If only the stereotypes of Baltimore didn't ring so true with this family. On top of all this neighborhood drama, there's also a lot of problems going with with personal family relationships on both our sides, as well as some career roadblocks. Stress has been oh so present, every single day. So to Mr. Steele, I'll say, I can't do it. I can't write every single day. I'm spending most my hours, both waking and sleeping hours, worrying about the constant crazies in my life right now. It doesn't seem wise to throw shit writing on top of that.

Fortunately, I've got some great news food-wise. If you think writing when stressed is easy, try successfully making anything. I've pulled off one good dish in the past two weeks, and it's probably this one. Chicken tikka masala. Now, my track record with Indian food is relatively negative - I've definitely made saag (or is it cheera?) a few times with horrendous results, which only makes this success all the more unbelievable. Note though. This version of chicken tikka masala tastes a bit different from restaurant versions (which might be a good thing), perhaps a little less creamy. It's a recipe combination of things I found online, and I actually like this delicious version over other masalas I've had. This dish is the opposite of melancholy. It's bright and happy and satisfying, and we ate it every meal for 3 days and didn't get tired of it. Even better, when its paired with homemade naan (in a later post), this dish makes you feel  like you could want nothing more in the world. 

Chicken Tikka Masala

4-6 servings

sauce

3 TB salted butter 

1 TB ginger oil

1 large white onion, chopped

1 2" long knob of ginger, minced

8 cloves of garlic, minced
1 medium cayenne pepper diced, seeds removed

4 TB tomato paste

1 TB ground coriander

2 teaspoons ground cumin

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

1/2 teaspoon Hungarian paprika

2 teaspoons turmeric
1 1/2 C water

3/4 C heavy cream

1 teaspoon salt

1-2 TB granulated sugar
1/2 C chopped fresh cilantro

chicken

2 large chicken breasts

1/4 C Greek yogurt

2 TB sesame oil

1 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons fresh lime juice

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 TB olive oil

Prepare the sauce in advance (it tastes better after simmering and sitting for a couple of hours). Fry the diced onions in 2 TB of butter in a large pan on the stove on med-high heat, stirring occasionally. You'll want the onions to brown unevenly, which adds to the flavor of the final sauce - careful, you don't want anything to burn though. Once the onions are browned, add in the minced ginger, garlic, and diced cayenne pepper. Fry until softened. At this point, feel free to add in a few tablespoons of water to prevent anything from burning. Then, add in the tomato paste and fry, stirring constantly until tomato paste turns a deep reddish brown (don't burn it) - as you can tell with all these aromatics, you're building the flavor base of the sauce. Once the tomato paste is a deeper color, melt in the remaining TB of butter and add in the the ground dry spices. Fry to get rid of the sharp taste of the spices.

Once all that is incorporated, remove from heat and stir in the 2-3 C of cold water. Blend using a hand blender (or whatever device you use to puree stuff with) until the mixture is smooth. Return to stove in pot and simmer until thickened. Once thickened, add in the heavy cream, sugar, and salt (measure the salt and salt to your taste). Continue simmering until it is the consistency you like (add water if you want a runnier sauce), then turn off heat and let rest.

To prepare the meat,  marinate chicken pieces (you can also use chicken thighs) in a marinade of yogurt, lime juice, sesame oil, garlic, and salt for at least 30 minutes, preferably 1 hour. In a large pan on high heat, heat up the olive oil until slick and shiny. Brown the chicken in the oil, but remove the chicken before it is fully cooked. You just want to brown the outside and seal in the juices. Once the chicken pieces are browned, but still raw, transfer them to the pot of masala sauce and heat the sauce back to a simmer, simmering and stirring occasionally until chicken is fully cooked.

Once the chicken is cooked, it is ready to serve with naan or rice. Sprinkle with fresh cilantro before serving.