To be a little more present

God, my mind is so absent these days. I wish I could blame it on the persistent head-cold that's been plaguing me ever since I emerged from the slumber of RenFair here in Maryland, but that would be a lie. I'm sure it doesn't help, the stuffy nose, aching muscles, and the feeling that my head is expanding in a vise, but my absent-mindedness comes from other things. Things more along the lines of scrambling to finish up a paper from my old job, setting up for a new one, sitting around with a pit in my stomach as I worry about the future and when to get a car and pay for insurance and how to manage my family's emotions in the face of all these things....yerp. My absentmindedness comes from these things, from the mountain of messes that pull every thought away from the present. So, what should be my goal today? To be a little more present. 

Even though "my present" consists of sitting here, sucking snot up my cavities and nursing my sore throat with hot coffee, it's actually kind of nice. I'm sure we've all had this conversation with our friends before, about how to be more "in the now" and all "carpe diem," about how worrying about the nagging future or clinging onto the past can really lead to stasis. As a human being though, avoiding the latter can be quite difficult - we seem inherently geared to think about things that happened and how much farther we can go. I mean, what does it even mean to experience the present, the now? If I were to reduce it down to a single definition, as I do love being reductionist, I might say that being in the present means literally enjoying the current action. If I'm sitting here, drinking coffee, is enjoying the present mean merely admiring this fine-tasting Kenyan blend, the peace and quiet surrounding me, the enveloping quality of this couch? Or, is being in the present less about the taste of this coffee and more about the list of things I should get done today? Is it just me, or is it easier to talk about 'living in the present" if there's some human interaction involved? Isn't it easier to just pay attention to what someone else is feeling or saying, and call that being in the present? 

Sorry, I don't know why I'm ending everything as a question, but the point is, perhaps living in the present really just means realizing what's going on in your head right at the moment, looking at what's going on outside your head at that moment, and being able to step back and appreciate both of those events. It's perhaps a lacking definition, I know, but beyond intense experiences like ingesting something amazing or feeling excruciating pain or pleasure, there's very little in the physical world that can bring us to realize "the present." 

Granted, living only in the now may not always be the best thing, may not even indicate good things. Whenever I hear some young'un tell me that they want to experience life "now" and "live in the present," who cares about the consequences or what other people think or want because it's "their life," I can only sigh - that's youth right there, disconnected from the responsibilities that we (as caring human beings) tend to impose on others. That's youth in all its glorious selfishness, just throbbing for crazy experiences and memory-creating moments. In such cases, living in the present is a choice, and we're fortunate to have that choice. I recently began hanging out with someone, an older person, who has most likely become physically incapable of not living in the present, whose mind cannot retain much of the recent past or comprehend much of future planning. She most likely has little choice in the matter, brain cells being old and all, and "now, now, now" may perhaps be the main thought at many a time. I'm not sure where her experiences truly fall in terms of what she is feeling and whether or not she realizes what's happening, if she's coping, and I'm not even sure of whether this all is a good or bad thing for her....but what I've noticed is that it is certainly much more difficult to live without the planning capabilities ascribed to us by the past and future. Our society was just not set-up that way; if you live in the present all the time, it's hard to connect with the people that don't. Let's not let the conversation get too deep though, after all, it's a Saturday morning. 

So, I guess I'm going to enjoy this coffee and try hard to live in the present today, and be happy that I generally have my wits about me and can make that choice. Here's a recipe that takes very little planning. It takes less than 10 minutes to put together (if you don't factor in the time it takes to wake up the yeast), and very little kneading. I'm not sure which type of crust this falls under - it's certainly not the buttery pan pizza I'm accustomed to, nor is it "neapolitan" because I don't think neapolitan dough has olive oil in it - but it is very versatile. If you want a thinner, more cracker-like crust, I've been told to just replace the milk with water, use less oil as well as less yeast. If you want something chewier with a bend, do the opposite. Start out here though and see what you think - this pizza bends and definitely holds up a heavy dose of toppings. You can halve it, quarter it, but this yields two giant pizzas or 4-5 little ones. And speaking of versatility, you can top the dough with whatever you'd like, although I've listed my two favorite home topping combinations below. Just enjoy that this pizza doesn't take long and has good flavor. I'm pretty certain that the cheesy and doughy goodness on your tongue will bring you smack dab into the present. 

Versatile Pizza Dough 

2 large pizzas

2 heaping teaspoons active dry yeast

1 TB honey

1 C warm water

1 C whole milk

4-5 C bread flour

3 TB olive oil

1 heaping teaspoon garlic salt

White Pizza Toppings

basil pesto

block mozzarella, sliced into think strips

sweet Italian sausage

caramelized onions and mushrooms

peppered salami

Red Pizza Toppings

marinara sauce

block mozzarella, sliced into thin strips

grilled chicken, sausage pieces

pepperoni

freshly ground black pepper

sliced green peppers

Activate the yeast in slightly warm water with honey in a large bowl, and wait about 10 minutes or until the mixture is frothy. Add to this yeast mixture the milk and the oil. With a fork or a spoon, stir in the flour until a sticky dough forms. In terms of stickiness, this dough should not stick to the sides of the bowl but it will still be sticky on your hands - this is good, don't add more flour and dry it out, keep it tacky. Sprinkle on the garlic salt. Then, with floured hands (to kind of avoid that stickiness), knead the dough in the bowl until it begins to look more elastic - it should still be soft and pliable BUT STILL KIND OF STICKY when you are finished. You should only be kneading for like 2 minutes, it's not even a big deal if you decide to skip this step. 

Divide the dough into the number of pizzas you'd like and place in oiled, zip-lock bags. Let the dough rise for 1 hour at room temperature,  then place the dough in the fridge and let it rise in the refrigerator overnight (two nights if you can, just punch it down sometime before the 2nd night). Now, if you're pressed for time, you can punch the dough down after the first rise room temperature rise, let it rise a 2nd time at room temperature (1 hour), and then bake it. I did this the first time I made this pizza, and while it was good, the flavor is definitely better after a cold, slow rise. That's the general rule with developing flavor with yeast breads - cold, slow rises yield tastier bread. Anyways...once you're ready to bake, pull the dough out of the refrigerator and form it into your pizza crust. I don't do any tossing, I just hold the sphere of dough up in the air, turn, and let gravity do all the stretching work. Place the stretched dough on parchment paper if you don't have a baking stone. 

Preheat to oven to 500 degrees F with your baking stone (or just a hot baking pan, that's what I used) and let the dough come to room temperature. Add your toppings. Once the oven is ready, slide the dough onto the baking stone (or onto the hot pan) - parchment paper is handy here for the transfer - and bake until crust is golden and cheese is bubbling, 15-25 minutes depending on the size of your pizza. And that's it!