Doing it wrong

I was a little torn writing this post because I just made these brown butter chocolate chip cookies last night (courtesy of Joy the Baker, of whom I am crazy jealous since she's living in New Orleans), and they're pretty post-worthy. Certainly more so than the recipe you are about to see, which is also delicious but also vastly vastly different from a sweet dessert. Oh well, next post. I guess we're trending savory.

Shrimp masala tied in a little better with the theme for today, so I've got that going for me. This recipe has been sitting in my archive for quite awhile now, simply because I didn't have a great picture to accompany the post. Granted, I still don't have a great picture...but passable isn't a bad place to be either. I actually thought this recipe would indefinitely on its dusty shelf, or at least until I made it again, but then someone from my past contacted me last night and it felt appropriate to remove this from its holding cell. That being said, I'm not saying that this "someone-from-my-past-contacted-me" thing is a joyous or momentous thing. Not at all. After all, this person from my past was averse to eating shrimp or any form of shellfish, and it makes me chuckle to place mention of her so close to this recipe. Perhaps that fact alone should also give you a solid indication of the state of our friendship as we left it, and the subtle discomforts that still permeate the relationship...although the latter is seemingly only apparent to me.

Hearing from this person raised a lot of contemplative emotions. She is my age and currently pursuing her dream at a higher education medical institution, just got engaged to be married to another medical professional, always has the full support of her family behind her, and seems overall very happy and care-free. I'm sure she has day-to-day stresses, e.g. studying for exams, etc., and I am happy for her, but all of this did make me wonder about my own life. I look at the state of my career, family interactions, relationships...and I just realize that there's so much stress in it all, and not only that, but also just types of stress I could have never foreseen having in my younger years. It seems all the choices I made previously, under the impression that they were right for me at the time, may not be right anymore. Hindsight and emotions make a mess of things, of course...but shouldn't things be easier now?

It just made me wonder, am I doing life all wrong? 

Of course, this is just a moment and perhaps not a thought worth having. All insecurity arises from us comparing ourselves to some other person's highlight reel, so they say, and I do know that it is unwise to compare oneself to other people. Life is too short for that. Sometimes, though, it feels like constant denial when trying to stay positive about one's own life.

So here's a dish that you shouldn't compare to other dishes, at least not to any of its Indian counterparts. It's certainly not a traditional tikka masala dish, and although it does have similar elements, the shrimp-factor really changes the flavor and makes it more...southern? I'm not even sure. My point being, just enjoy it for what it is and try not to let the spiciness get you too much.

Shrimp Masala

serves 4

2 TB of salted butter

3 TB peanut or canola oil

2 large white onions, chopped

1 fresh arbol chile. chopped and seeds reserved

6 cloves garlic, minced

1 teaspoon garam masala

1 teaspoon turmeric

2 teaspoons coriander

1/4 teaspoon ground chipotle (optional)

16 oz. canned tomatoes or tomato sauce

2-3 C of shrimp stock*

1/2 C cream

1/4 C chopped cilantro

1/4-1/2 C heavy cream

1 teaspoon paprika

1 lb of shrimp, peeled

salt, to taste

cornstarch, for dusting

*Note: Ideally, you should use homemade shrimp stock. It's super easy to make; just take the shrimp heads/shells from ~1 lb of roasted shrimp and simmer them in chicken stock for 30 minutes to 1 hour. Add salt to taste (although if you roasted the shrimp with sea salt, you shouldn't need to add salt). Strain and reserve. You can also freeze for later use. 

Thoroughly, and I mean thoroughly, dry your shrimp and dust lightly with cornstarch, salt, and the paprika. In a deep pan (or pot) on high heat, place 1 TB of canola oil and heat until slick. "Fry" your shrimp, turning them over quickly so that they evenly "sear" on both sides. Remove from the hot pan and place on a cool plate, to stop them from cooking. Overall, you should only have them in the pan for 1-2 minutes; they should still be slightly translucent or under-cooked (you'll finish them off in the sauce).

In the same pan, now on low-med heat, melt the 2 TB of the butter and saute the onions, arbol chile, and garlic until all is softened and slightly browned. Stir occasionally so as not to burn the aromatics. Once the mixture is slightly browned, add the remaining canola oil into the pan and heat until the oil is hot and slick again. Add the garam masala, turmeric, coriander, and ground chipotle and fry in the oil with the aromatics until you begin to smell the spices. Stir occasionally so that you do not burn the mixture. 

Once the harshness has been cooked out from the spices, add the tomatoes/tomato sauce and shrimp stock to aromatic/spice mixture and mix. Cook until reduced and add salt (to taste, but up to 1 teaspoon). Once thickened, puree using a hand blender so that the mixture is smooth. 

About 10 minutes before you are ready to serve, bring the sauce back up to a simmer. Then nestle the shrimp into the sauce and cook a few minutes, until shrimp are done. Mix in the heavy cream (1/4 C if you are okay with the spiciness, up to 1/2 C if it it still too spicy) and cilantro, then simmer for another few minutes.

Serve with naan, rice, and raita (plain yogurt).