When you have a nightmare

I've had lots of nightmares lately. A few nights ago, I dreamed I found an invisible baby. At some point in the dream, I misplaced him in a cupboard, or so I thought. Ends up the cupboard was next to an oven that I had just turned on, preheating something or other, and ends up I had actually put the invisible baby in the oven, not the cupboard. I can recall the taste of panic in my dream, as I frantically opened and closed endless cupboard doors before flinging the oven open in horror, in disbelief, hands groping blindly before finally bumping into that invisible, living breathing being. After some time, the baby became visible to me, from blisters and scars forming all over its body. It was such a small and fragile thing, barely a baby. I spent the remainder of the dream smoothing salves over its injuries, and wierdly, performed a tracheotomy to keep it breathing. The latter is what finally woke me up from this mild nightmare.

I'm sure I could read more deeply into this dream. It's probably some weird convergence of my recent review of inflammation histology and my deepest fears, all combined into one, neat package. Instead though, I'm just going to chalk it up to my frenetic neural impulses. It seems a melancholy permeates my life these days. I must admit, I feel very lonely sometimes.

Anyway, to keep this relatively short, and as you can tell from the photos, I spent the weekend between the bed and the kitchen table making croissants. Online food writers always make a big deal about making croissants because they do require investment in time and some tricky lamination of dough. But, to tell you the truth, I don't get what the fuss is about - to me, making croissants is just as hard as making any other type of good, yeasted bread. The whole process requires careful monitoring of yeast, of proofing, of kneading and spreading out the dough, as well as time.  Yes, there's a lot of butter here and yes, there are long 1-hour rests between dough-folding steps....but it's not like you're actually doing anything with the dough while it's just resting in the fridge. It's just sleeping and having its own, private, yeasty dreams. 

I dare you to tell me these aren't laminated

This was my first attempt making croissants and it definitely shows.  This batch was far from perfect but really, I don't care all that much. The croissants still came out super delicious. I don't even mind that they're a little overbrowned on the bottoms. A couple of notes before you begin.  First, timing. Ideally, you want to start later in the day and let the final proof happen overnight. The benefit of this kind of timing is that when you wake up in the morning, all you have to do is roll out the dough, form it into little croissants, and bake, aka fresh, warm croissants for breakfast. I didn't quite time these right and started at like 2-3 PMish. So, while I had delicious croissants for breakfast, these suckers ended up proofing for over 12 hours (for the final step). I think that's the reason why they didn't puff up as much as I wanted them to in the oven, and why they taste yeastier than I'd expect. So, I'll definitely time this whole process better next time - start earlier in the day or very late at night - so that the croissants will only proof 6-8 hours for the final step.

Second, bake with the rack in the middle of the oven. I had the rack on the bottom of the oven, which is what I think contributed to the dark brown bottoms. Also, I'd recommend using an egg-milk wash for the coating, which I think will brown faster and more evenly, thus keeping up with the browning on the bottom. Third, and this is just a note, I added some bread flour to the recipe and used bread flour for kneading; this definitely increased the gluten content and make a chewier croissant. Although I like that, traditionally, I think only all-purpose flour is used, so keep that in mind. Lastly, stuff that croissant with whatever you'd like. Delicious and at a low-cost to you. Do it.

If you want a photo tutorial, as I liked, I found this post helpful. Granted, my recipe is quite different from hers, but hey, I was using the ingredients I had available.

Whooo look at that sweet cream cheese peeking out

Croissants with Sweet Cream Cheese Filling

14-16 croissants

1 TB + 1/2 teaspoon active dry yeast

1 1/2 C tepid whole milk

1/2 C tepid water

1/4 C packed dark brown sugar

3 C all-purpose flour

1/2 C bread flour + extra for kneading

1 TB salt

12 oz (3 sticks unsalted butter)

1 egg, beaten (for egg wash) + milk

filling

8 oz cream cheese

1/2 C confectioner's sugar

*Notes - Have a tape measure on hand so you can measure out the proportions properly. Also, adding a little milk to the egg wash will help the croissants brown better - I'd add this next time as well.

1. Gently mix together the yeast, whole milk, water, and dark brown sugar in a large bowl. Let sit in a warm, humid place until clearly frothy and bubbling. Then add in the all-purpose flour and mix by hand until a sticky dough is formed. Add in the 1/2 C bread flour and salt, mixing until both are evenly incorporated. Now, from this point on, only use bread flour. Turn the sticky dough onto a well-floured surface and knead, sprinkling more bread flour on the dough when necessary. Knead until the dough becomes elastic and smooth. Shape into a rectangle, wrap in plastic wrap, and place in the refrigerator for 1 hour.

2. Line up the 3 sticks of butter between 2 sheets of plastic wrap and pound the butter with a rolling pin until it is in the shape of a smooth 8x5 inch rectangle. Place back in the fridge to cool with the dough.

3. After the first hour, remove the dough from the fridge and once again, place on a lightly-floured surface. Stretch the dough out or flatten with with the rolling pin until it is an 16x10 inch rectangle. With the short side facing you, place the cold butter slab in the middle horizontally, fold the top down, the the bottom up. Think of it like folding a piece of paper to put in an envelope, while sandwiching some cash in between. Once your envelope is formed, rotate the rectangle 90 degrees to the right, so the short side is facing you again, and roll it out to a 15x10 inch rectangle. Then fold the dough like a letter again, top down, bottom up. Shape into a 10x5 inch rectangle, wrap in plastic wrap, and place the dough in the refrigerator for 1 hour.

4. Repeat step 3 an additional three times. Remember, you're letting the dough rest for 1 hour between folds. After the last fold, place the laminated dough in the refrigerator and let rest for 6-8 (up to 12) hours. This is your final proof.

Rolled-up dough

5. The next day, prepare the filling by beating the cream cheese and confectioner's sugar together in a small bowl. Then preheat oven to 450 degrees and move rack to the middle of the oven.

6. Remove the dough from the fridge and roll it out into a 20x32 inch rectangle (or two 10x16 inch rectangles). Then cut the dough into multiple equal, tall, isoceles triangles (the base of the triangles will originate from the long-edge of the rectangle). After you have your tall triangles, form the croissants by cutting a 1-inch slit in the base of the triangle, smear a teaspoon or so of cream cheese at the start of the slit. The two sides of the slit will be the ends of the croissant. Starting at the slit-end, or the base, roll up the dough, rolling towards the apex. 

6. Place croissants on parchment paper, about 2-3 inches apart. Brush croissants thoroughly with the egg+milk wash. Bake for 12-14 minutes, until golden. Have a window open or an exhaust fan going because the butter that leaks out does smoke. Once browned, remove from oven and let cool.