Going bananas

I awoke this morning from a night of vivid dreaming and felt the need to write, which is a rare occurence these days, so here I am. In all honesty, I've been trying to write all week but my thoughts tend to peter out in a sentence or two, and so the process of writing becomes either some odd forced habit or some academic obligation, neither of which are particularly pleasant. Moreover, to further align the stars this morning, I spent most of this weekend puttering around my kitchen, concocting combinations from the leftovers in my pantry, and avoiding human contact at all costs. Such an environment yielded some pretty awesome recipes. It all felt weirdly creative. I'm thereby not too keen on leaving this happy isolation, so when my eyes peeled open at 8:15 AM this morning, I indecisively bowed out of a study group that's been meeting at 8 AM on weekends - perhaps a more accurate term is I "flaked" out for the second time this weekend, which does not reflect well on my character - and decided to stay in and do a photo session with one, tasty banana cheesecake.

Metaphorically speaking, besides cheesecake, there's a lot of food on my plate right now, most of it unpleasant, what with immediate deadlines for abstracts and editing tasks falling on Monday. It may be unwise to spend a few hours writing about a dream, but I liked this one. I dreamed that I had drawn the attention of a serial killer, not because he wanted to cause me harm, but because he was deeply fascinated with me. Or in love with me. Can psychopaths love?

Both of us worked in the hospital together, I in some administrative, labwork capacity, he for the EMT department, and the walls of m narrow office were a muted but fluorescent yellow. I can't say I knew him all that well, but he seemed nice enough when he came to the basement, wheeling the white gurney, and I actually kind of liked him. I found him attractive, pleasant, maybe even exciting. Isn't that what Criminal Minds tells us, that many psychopaths can be quite charming? Either way, in this dream world, everyone at the hospital knew there was a serial killer about. The police were looking for him, they warned us that his killing spree had recently been quiet, that perhaps he had found another victim and was in the process of stalking, of honing in on his target. Whatever, I thought. Who would ever want to stalk me?

The dream was mudane at first. I worked and exchanged pleasantries with my coworkers, joshed around with the serial killer when he stopped by (I don't think I even knew his name). Then one night, I happen to find out that he is the serial killer, and before I can even fully process my discovery, he rushes down to my office, still wheeling his gurney. He rams it through the door, effectively blocking my escape, then professes his fascination with me, his graphically explicit mind overrun with sexually charged proposals, none of them particularly murderous or anything. I don't know how to respond, my heart is racing, I think he senses the fear and oncoming rejection. Then the dude pulls out a giant syringe and tries to stab me with a needle multiple times! 

I'm a bit fuzzy on the sequence of events, but suffice it to say, I'm apparently one dodgy motherfucker and after avoiding many needle stabbing attempts, I ended up killing him, or rendering him unconscious...I'm not quite sure. Oddly enough, he was wheeled away on the gurney he brought in, so at least my dream mind likes to hold onto small ironies. Now, in brief, I don't  know if it was the element of danger that got me but I'm quite intrigued by this dream. I have no idea what it means, what with all the disjointed themes running amuck (An EMT who is also a killer? Murder by needle stabbing?), and I get the feeling I'll spend the rest of the day mulling over the contradictions. The reasoning behind it  may be as simple as the many episodes of Criminal Minds reactivating in my brain, or perhaps the fast-approaching cadaver exam causing me stress, but more concerning is why did this serial killer want me? Do I long for uniqueness, so much so that I dream about being targeted by something as singular as a serial killer? Do I think I have something that is quietly unique, even though I appear so mundane on the surface? And if that's what I thought, why did I kill him? As is usual on this blog, I'm at a loss. 

Either way, enjoy this delicious and relatively simple-to-make cheesecake. It is light, creamy, tangy, and full of banana flavor. More importantly, the crust is unique in texture, with the chewy, tooth-sticking caramel element, crunch from the peanuts, and salty pretzels to round it all out. Really, this crust makes this cheesecake unique in a quiet way, different from any banana cheesecake you can get from the factory. There's no chocolate or peanut butter or caramel sauce to make it loud. Rather, it's plain banana cheesecake with a secret. If you think of it, this recipe is quite possibly similar to the issues I have with my dream. Mundane bananas paired with something rather exciting and unassuming, hidden until you actually take a bite. Perfect harmony? 

Banana Cheesecake with a Caramel, Pretzel, Peanut Crust

1 9-inch pie 

crust

3/4 C ground blister peanuts

3/4 C ground sourdough hard pretzels

1/4 C granulated sugar

2 TB salted butter, softened

2 TB salted butter, melted

1/4 C (a little less than) whole milk

filling

16 oz (2 packages) softened cream cheese

1/4 C granulated sugar

2 teaspoons tapioca flour or corn starch

3/4 C mashed ripe bananas (2 bananas)

2 large eggs

juice of 1/2 a lemon

The crust of this pie is a doozy and the most labor-intensive part of the whole process. Pulse together the ground peanuts and pretzels until well mixed and well-processed (no large chunks of pretzels) and reserve the mixture in a large bowl. In a dry pan on the stove, prepare your caramel. 

Heat the granulated sugar on med-high heat until it begins to melt and caramelize - don't mess with it too much, just let the sugar melt and after a good deal of it has melted, swirl the pan around to get the remaining sugar granules to dissolve.  When the melted sugar is lightly browned, remove from heat and add 2 TB of softened butter and the whole milk to the pan, letting the mixture sizzle first and then carefully using a spatula to mix it all up (the mixture should be a light golden, caramel brown). Once the butter and milk are mixed in and the caramel is smooth, return to the stove on low-heat and bring to a bubble and let darken a bit (careful! don't leave it alone). Remove and stir until the sauce is smooth. 

Drizzle the caramel into the pretzel and peanut mixture and stir as best you can so that the caramel is evenly distributed. The caramel will cool and harden, so be prepared for some sticking to the sides of the bowl. When cool to touch, transfer the whole thing (pretzel+peanuts+cooled caramel) back to the food processor and process vigorously, drizzling in the 2 TB of melted butter in parts, until a crumbly mixture is formed. Transfer this crumbly mixture to a well-buttered pie plate and press evenly onto the floor and up the walls of the plate to form your crust. Place in refrigerator for at least 30 min or while you prepare your filling.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. 

The filling is super easy. Chop up the bananas and microwave, covered, in a bowl for 2 minutes. Then mash them up with their liquid and let cool. In another large bowl (I used a hand mixer), beat together the cream cheese, sugar, and tapioca flour. Then add in the mashed bananas and mix until evenly distributed. Next, add in the eggs, 1 at a time and scraping down the sides for each one, then beat the whole mixture until it becomes light and fluffy. Lastly, mix in the lemon juice. 

Remove the cold pie plate from the refrigerator and pour in the filling. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes, then lower temperature to 200 degrees and bake for another 20-30 minutes, or until the center of the cheesecake has pretty much set. Remove from oven and let cool. This cheesecake looks super smooth on top, most likely because there's tapioca flour (or corn starch), a stabilizer, in the recipe. 

Let the cheesecake cool completely at room temperature, then refrigerate overnight. To serve, decorate with sliced banana slices or add whipped cream. Enjoy!