Not ambitious. Just easily bored.

Welp, it didn't take long for school to suck out my soul and spirits. As is usual at this time of year, I'm so filled with doubt from multiple choice testing that I can't even make a decision as to whether I'm surprised at my poor spirits or not.  At least I can acknowledge that it's certainly disappointing, always the same trend, always some weirdly self-annoying, downward spiral. A few days ago, an old friend of mine, who's currently in medical school, jokingly said to me "You'd think that by now, at our age, we'd be better at tests." You'd think so, right? You'd think so. 

Perhaps now is a good time to remind myself of who I am and why I even exist, which is a conversation I think that many of us should have with ourselves on a regular basis. Alas, if only those that truly needed it were aware enough to even think of the question (tangent alert). Moving on, I often wonder if this problem, this discrepancy between self and reality, is endemic to human existence.  Is it always the same story? Were all those philosophers and renaissance men/women of history past, in the end, driven mad by their own insecurities and inability to decide what and who they really were, much less why they were even here? Did such madness push them into eventual ambivalence, resignation...and is the latter a fine representation of depression?

I wonder if people out there are like me, in the sense that they are filled with an everlasting, desire to change the world, to be something that they could die happy as, but at the same time, frustrated and resigned to their smallness and self limits. For me, it's easy to live in some sort of denial of what I want versus what I am, live in this painful purgatory (masochism alert), alternating between raging ambition and being a bum...and don't doubt me when I say, I do awfully love being a bum. In truth, my most natural state is more likely to be that of the decrepit bum who likes to drink coffee wrapped in a blanket on a couch in a 60-degree room...and yet, there is something deep, deep in my genetic code that reeks of utter ambition. Either that or a lack of tolerance for boredom. Yeah, it's probably the latter.

On that abrupt note, today's recipe is a product of my inability to overcome my love for procrastination and my love for denying my ambition. Dim sum beef balls. 

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I go insane at dim sum restaurants. I can't help myself, I become a vacuuming vortex of meat snacks. In college, everytime I was in vicinity of a good dim sum restaurant, usually when I went to Cleveland to visit my sister, I turned me into a frenetic, must-order-everything kind of consumer, filling the table with all the delightful little steamed eats. I'm a bit ashamed, but for a two-person table, which includes myself, I'd drop nearly $50-$60 bucks at a dim sum restaurant, easy. A terrible habit, but what can you do when you're so in love with what's sitting right in front of you? One day, someone will invent a non-repelling meat chip. I can't wait for that day.

Now, Philadelphia is a different beast and certainly has its wealth of dim sum restaurants down in Chinatown. If I wasn't such a bum (see above: natural state) and so poor (see above: student), perhaps I'd go there more often. Oh well. These actually turned out better tasting than the ones I've had at dim sum restaurants, so no loss there.

Dim Sum Beef Balls

makes 13-15 large meatballs

1.5 lbs ground beef (80% lean)

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

seasonings

16 stalks of cilantro

3-4 stalks scallions

1 3-inch knob of ginger

1 TB pork lard

1 TB oyster sauce

3 tsp Shaoshing wine

2 TB dark soy sauce

1 TB sesame oil

2 large eggs

1 tsp ground black pepper

1 tsp white pepper

2 tsp sugar

2.5 TB corn starch

3/4 C iced water

zest of 1 orange (navel orange)

3/4 C frozen peas

Mix together the ground beef, baking soda, and salt. Cover and refrigerate for 3 to 4 hours. 

Strip the cilantro stalks of their leaves. Roughly chop the leaves and reserve for later. In a food processor, process the cilantro stalks, the scallions,ginger, and pork lard until smooth. Remove from food processor.

Mix together the herb paste, the marinated ground beef, and the remainder of the seasonings (except for the orange zest, roughly chopped cilantro leaves and peas) in a large bowl. Then, put all of the meat mixture into a food processor and process until it becomes a smooth paste. If you do not have a food processor, you can do the traditionally method of picking the meat up and slapping it against the table until you get the desired consistency.

Once the ground beef and seasonings have been processed/beaten into a quivering pulp, mix in the orange zest and roughly chopped cilantro leaves. 

Now to assemble and cook. Set up the steamer and have a large bowl of cold water on hand. Dip your hands into the cold water and then take some of the beef mixture. Form into a large ball (see the image for what the consistency looks like and how big the balls are) and place into the steamer. Steam the beef balls for 10-15 minutes or until the inside of the ball is set. It is ok if the beef is a little pink inside, but make sure it is set or else it's not done. Serve hot. 

If you don't end up sucking down all the meatballs, you can repurpose leftovers into other delicious things, like fried rice, sandwiches (works really well from Banh Mis), or omelettes. See below for a quick recipe for the fried rice.

Beef Ball Fried Rice

serves 2

3 TB vegetable oil

1 large tomato, chopped

2 large dim sum beef balls, chopped into smaller pieces

2 TB soy sauce

3 TB C beef broth

2 C cooked jasmine rice

3/4 C roughly chopped, blanched sugar snap peas

4 large eggs (optional)*

1 tsp salt

*Note: you can make 2 omelettes or just scramble the eggs and add to the fried rice

In a large pan, heat the oil until slick. Beat together the eggs and either make your 2 omelette shells or scramble the eggs. Remove eggs from pan and reserve for later. In a large bowl, microwave together the beef broth and jasmine rice, until heated through. Remove from microwave and let cool

Add the chopped tomato, chopped beef, and soy sauce to the pan. Cook on med-low heat until the tomatoes are softened and cooked completely through, almost falling apart.

Then add in the sugar snap peas, hot rice, and scrambled eggs (if you're not doing the omelette), and mix everything together until the rice is coated in the sauce and peas/beef are evenly distributed. Serve hot or in the pre-prepared omelette shell.